I remember sitting in my school’s library working on finals when I got a call from Becky. She was somewhat anxious because she had yet to get her period and thought she might be pregnant. Now, this was nothing new. There were often months where Becky was convinced that there was going to be a little Gerson on the way for at least a few hours. The routine was almost always the same:
Becky: “Do you think I could be pregnant?”
Me: “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Becky: “I felt something right here a couple of days ago (points to someplace on her abdomen), I wonder if that was the egg implanting. What do you think?”
Me: “What the heck do I know?!? I don’t have a uterus! If you think you might be pregnant, let's get a pregnancy test.”
I would then get a pregnancy test, and sometimes run out for a second but soon enough things would start flowing and the visions of breastfeeding and burping would fade from our thoughts.
This time when she called she said that things felt different than usual. So I said, “well maybe you're pregnant, I’ll get a test on the way home.” Becky wasn’t convinced but humored me and agreed to take a pregnancy test.
I walked in the door and handed her the test. Becky took the stick in hand and headed into our teeny tiny bathroom. When she finished going, she opened the door and handed me the test to read the results. You know how when you watch on a television show or when someone is pregnant and you have to wait and wait and wait for the 3 minutes to be over so you can read the test. Yeah well, not the case here. As soon as the test entered my hand, the plus showed up immediately and two words entered my mind “Oh s&^%!!”
It was absolutely the happiest moment in my life to that point and the most terrifying. Of course the only emotion I let my wife see was my sheer joy but my mind was racing with questions. Were we ready for this? How would this affect our marriage? What is Becky’s pregnancy going to be like? Am I going to have to clean up poop all the time once we have a baby? Will I still have time to rock out with my friends on Beatles Rock Band for the Wii? The answer to the last two questions was “Yes” and “No” respectively.
My time to dwell on these questions was limited because my role as nurturing daddy had already begun and as it turned out Becky’s mind was also racing with questions and some doubts and that, coupled with the fact that all this was going on in her body, trumped my concern of dealing with poopy diapers and mastering Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. It was my job to reassure her that having a baby was a blessing, that this is what we wanted and that everything was going to be ok.
Being the partner of a pregnant woman is not an easy job, but it is more than worthwhile. Being actively involved in my wife’s pregnancy gave me the feeling of being connected to her and my little player to be named later. By feeding my wife, I knew I was helping to give nutrition to our little jelly bean.
Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of times I wanted to pull my hair out, but being a nurturing daddy is a job I can’t wait to take on again (but first let me get in a few sessions of Beatles Rock Band).