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Be Chill, $#*t Happens.  Another post from the Nurturing Daddy

7/4/2012

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My ladies looked something like this... until the s#*t happened.

Hey everyone, Nurturing Daddy here.  I have to admit, I am posting this with some reservations.  I don't want to be type-cast or pigeonholed into blogging about one topic, but this latest story has been replaying in my mind since it happened 3 days ago and so I have to share it.  Maybe it will help in the healing process, maybe not. 

So we took our little one to her ISR class.  ISR stands for Infant Swim Rescue.  Basically it teaches your child, from infant on up, to essentially rescue themselves in case they accidentally fall into a pool or other body of water.  Our 18 month old is just now concluding the program after about 7 to 8 weeks of intensive swim training with the last 2 classes testing how they react if they have to do everything they learned fully clothed.  She can now flip to her back and float, giving her time to breathe and then swim to the stairs or the side of the pool so she can be pulled out.  I have to tell you it was absolutely amazing to see her progress and now to see the final product. I mean, wow!  The only thing is, it is not easy training, and some of the kids, mine included, scream their heads off and cry during some of their lessons and can't wait to be laid out on the towel by the side of the pool so they can relax after the lesson.  Its not always easy to watch, but the results are amazing.  This, however, is not why I'm writing, just setting the scene for you guys. 

Anyway, we are at ISR lessons, getting D ready for her 2nd to last class.  We were getting ready to change her into her clothes before the lesson and D very urgently let us know she had to go potty.  So we broke out the Dora potty she loves and set it down.  I had checked her diaper before putting her in the car to drive to the lesson and again once we got there and we were all clear so a couple minutes later when D gave us the cue that it was time to "go" I simply passed her off to Becky to put on the potty. 

So Becky is sitting in a chair facing the pool and positions the potty behind the mother of the child who has the lesson before.  The mom has 2 white towels arranged to accept her little guy after his lesson so he can lay down and dry off.  The potty is facing the pool because D loves to watch the other kids swim and will often even clap for them.  She is such a sweet child and is so funny too.  Anyway, the potty is positioned and Becky starts to take off the diaper and as she takes it off an almost perfectly spherical ball of poop goes flying through the air.  There is nothing I could do, it all happened so fast.  This clementine sized ball of feces has gone airborne and yet seems to be traveling in slow motion towards the pool, the towel, and the mom waiting for her baby.  There is nothing to do but wait to see where it lands.  I remember praying in the split second that this poop missile was nearing its final destination, "Please let it land on concrete, please!"  But no dice.  Becky and I watch in horror as a nicely laid out towel became soiled with toddler poop, and not from the toddler to whom the towel belonged. 

At that point a second thought ran through my head.  How the heck (I thought a different 4 letter word in the moment) are we going to explain to this woman how a ball of toddler poop ended up right beside her on her nice white towel. 

Thankfully Becky sprang into action and the explanation and barrage of apologies began.  Thankfully this woman was more than understanding.  She was so cool and chill about our daughters doody, we were relieved.  We couldn't have hoped to have unintentionally thrown poop at a nicer woman and I learned a valuable lesson. 

Be chill, sometimes $#*t happens. 

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Thinkin' about Father's Day

6/17/2012

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It's funny how Father's Day can change for a girl once she becomes a mom and has a man in her life who is the father of her child (or children).  Growing up, Father's Day always felt like it was about being with family and spending quality time - focused time - together, and the cards, the gifts, and the occasional "alligator" pastry were just trivial (yet appreciated!) perks. 

Somehow I always felt like the men we were celebrating - Daddy, Grandpa Sol, Grandpa Sam, and even my uncles - were also somehow there because they wanted to celebrate their time with us too.  They made us feel so loved.  I wonder if we did the same for them.  I hope so.

And I'll just put it out there that my dad is pretty awesome too and I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for his patience, encouragement, love, and just general support throughout my life.  I think my dad set the perfect example for the nurturing qualities I should look for in the man who would become the father of my child - of my children, God willing.

Just as I hope that my father has felt appreciated over the years I'm sitting here thinking (while my hubby and daughter take a Father's Day nap)  about how lucky I feel to have such an amazing man as the father of my daughter, and wondering if there's any way to truly let my husband know how much I appreciate everything he does and the way in which he interacts with Daliya. 

I can't tell you how much I love overhearing him talk to her, be loving when she needs love, be silly when she's open to giggles and creativity, and even the way he says things to her like "I love your poopies... and I'm glad they're in the potty!"  Seriously though, how could I not enjoy overhearing comments like that?! (And who would have ever dreamed of their husband saying these hilarious and adorable things until actually having a little one to say them to!?!)


I'd love to hear from you 1) something cute or silly you've overheard your child's dad say to your little one, and 2) something special you did for Father's Day today that you all enjoyed or that really showed your appreciation for your man.  Maybe we can all enjoy each others' stories and get some fun ideas from each other for planning random "thank you" or family days. 

Even if you're pregnant and don't have any little ones around yet, my guess is you still either gave your partner a gift or at least made Father's Day special in some tiny way like talking about your future together as parents and dreaming about what this time next year might be like.  Either way, please leave a comment below - I'd love to hear from you!  

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Ready, Aim, Fire! ...another post from the Nurturing Daddy.

5/15/2012

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Hey everyone, Jordan here.  Today I wanted to share a little bit of my philosophy with you regarding being a Nurturing Daddy/Husband but first I’ll start with a story. 

Soon after our daughter was born, I had to return to classes at my school.  It was a struggle to get my self out of the door, not just because of all the things there are to do around the house as a new parent and husband of a momma who underwent a c-section but also because I had trouble prying myself away from my little family.  I did my best, but often I was a couple of minutes late to class, which my amazing and supportive teachers often overlooked and understood with empathy. 

One morning in particular I had put it into my mind that I would be in class on time!  I got up early and got ready, made breakfast for my wife and myself and was about to head to the door when I was asked to change the baby’s diaper. 

“OK,” I thought, “No worries.  I’ve done this dozens of time by now so it shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”  Little did I know what was about to happen.  I unfastened my daughter’s diaper and prepared a new one for her, slipped in under her little tush and all of a sudden BAM! 

Let me just say, I had heard of projectile vomiting, but I had no idea that it could come out the other end!  And it had landed on my crisp clean shirt.  I thought to myself, “ Well, there is no way I am going to be on time today,” and after handing off the baby, I went back into my room, changed, and finally made my way to school.  On the way out the door I said, “Note to self, when changing the baby, never stand in the line of fire!”

This lesson, very early on in my daughter’s life, made something click for me.  Being a parent is about rolling with the punches.  It’s about taking things as they come and bouncing back.  Parenthood, from conception on, requires flexibility and also the ability to learn from our mistakes.  

As Becky has shared in previous blog posts, her pregnancy was not necessarily an easy one.  We had certain things in mind for her pregnancy and birth experience that we had dreamed about.  Some we gratefully received and some we had to let go.  But the things that didn’t quite work out, we learned from.  Becky’s experience with morning sickness helped her to develop an amazing system for aiding other mothers in conquering this early pregnancy struggle.  Her diagnosis with gestational diabetes gave her the experience and the motivation needed to better understand what things the body needs nutritionally to not only survive pregnancy but also to thrive!  Our pregnancy taught us what things we need to do the next time around to increase the likelihood of getting the birth we wanted the first time around.

Pregnancy and now parenthood is a learning experience.  It doesn’t help to dwell too much on the mistakes we’ve made.  It only benefits us to look at our errors long enough to make sense of them and learn how to correct them for the next time. Until next time!

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The Nurturing Daddy

5/9/2012

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Greetings, my name is Jordan Gerson and I am Becky’s husband.  From time to time a blog post by me will be featured on the www.nurturedmommy.com blog site where I will share stories, experiences and tips that I have encountered or discovered during my role as a nurturing daddy.  For today’s post, I thought I would share what I experienced when we found out we would be becoming parents. 

I remember sitting in my school’s library working on finals when I got a call from Becky.  She was somewhat anxious because she had yet to get her period and thought she might be pregnant.  Now, this was nothing new.  There were often months where Becky was convinced that there was going to be a little Gerson on the way for at least a few hours.  The routine was almost always the same:

Becky:  “Do you think I could be pregnant?”

Me: “I don’t know.  Maybe.”

Becky: “I felt something right here a couple of days ago (points to someplace on her abdomen), I wonder if that was the egg implanting. What do you think?”

Me: “What the heck do I know?!?  I don’t have a uterus!  If you think you might be pregnant, let's get a pregnancy test.”

I would then get a pregnancy test, and sometimes run out for a second but soon enough things would start flowing and the visions of breastfeeding and burping would fade from our thoughts. 

This time when she called she said that things felt different than usual.  So I said, “well maybe you're pregnant, I’ll get a test on the way home.”  Becky wasn’t convinced but humored me and agreed to take a pregnancy test.

I walked in the door and handed her the test.  Becky took the stick in hand and headed into our teeny tiny bathroom.  When she finished going, she opened the door and handed me the test to read the results.  You know how when you watch on a television show or when someone is pregnant and you have to wait and wait and wait for the 3 minutes to be over so you can read the test.  Yeah well, not the case here.  As soon as the test entered my hand, the plus showed up immediately and two words entered my mind “Oh s&^%!!”

It was absolutely the happiest moment in my life to that point and the most terrifying.  Of course the only emotion I let my wife see was my sheer joy but my mind was racing with questions.  Were we ready for this?  How would this affect our marriage?  What is Becky’s pregnancy going to be like? Am I going to have to clean up poop all the time once we have a baby?  Will I still have time to rock out with my friends on Beatles Rock Band for the Wii?  The answer to the last two questions was “Yes” and “No” respectively.

My time to dwell on these questions was limited because my role as nurturing daddy had already begun and as it turned out Becky’s mind was also racing with questions and some doubts and that, coupled with the fact that all this was going on in her body, trumped my concern of dealing with poopy diapers and mastering Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.  It was my job to reassure her that having a baby was a blessing, that this is what we wanted and that everything was going to be ok. 

Being the partner of a pregnant woman is not an easy job, but it is more than worthwhile.  Being actively involved in my wife’s pregnancy gave me the feeling of being connected to her and my little player to be named later.  By feeding my wife, I knew I was helping to give nutrition to our little jelly bean. 

Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of times I wanted to pull my hair out, but being a nurturing daddy is a job I can’t wait to take on again (but first let me get in a few sessions of Beatles Rock Band).

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    Becky Gerson

    Creator of Nurtured Mommy. Doula. HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator.
    Breastfeeding advocate.
    Aspiring midwife. Holistic mama. Rabbi's wife.

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Becky Gerson, CD(DONA), HBCE:  HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator. Doula. Aspiring midwife. Breastfeeding advocate. Holistic mama.